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Mercer_myalterego
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Name: Langston
Country: United States
State: Mississippi
Metro: Hattiesburg
Birthday: 5/19/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Acting, Movies, Film, DVDs, Music, MP3's, Cooking, Fried Green Tomatos, Words that end in -urple, Martial Arts, Rpg's, video games, magazines, reading.
Expertise: Well... what would that be?
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
AIM:  Lonex12
Member Since:
8/12/2005
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| So, if I don't get inspired by something really soon, I'm going to have to change my career path. I just don't know about theatre/acting anymore, my life is grinding me down.
The thing is, I HAVE NO OTHER INTERESTS OR SKILLS. So without theatre, what am I doing? What am I? Who am I? Theatre was the first thing I tried and was actually somewhat good at, I think I held on to it because I had tried and failed at so many other things.
Now I'm afraid to let theatre go, you would think that if I was going to get tired of it, it would have happened at MSA, or a year ago, or when I started college. It's just too much. I'm totally ill equipped to live in this world.
LHD
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| So, I did: My federal taxes state taxes fafsa verification foundation scholarship form state scholarship verification credit report shit ( still more to do there) Life is lame. I'm getting like $41.00 from MS and $0 from the government. No, I'm not even getting that stimulus money because I'm not independent enough. I should have just claimed independency years ago, but the idea frightened me. Little did I realize that I have basically been taking care of myself for years. Which, when you take a good look at me, explains a WHOLE lot. In this day and age, a teenaged male is not fit to raise himself. Maybe in the medieval period, where the innate male traits could be a real boon. But not in these past two centuries, not in Mississippi. I'm going to have to start taking what's mine. | | |
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So, I was walking to get some food before rehearsal yesterday, when I saw all these flashing lights near the athletic center down the street from MCcarty As I passed these police cars and ambulance, these three cops were starin me down. I was like "what?" Things didn't come together until I checked my school email and found this:
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THE UNIVERSITY POLICE NEEDS YOUR HELP WITH A CRIME THAT WAS REPORTED ON
FEBRUARY 13, 2008. A MALE STUDENT REPORTED THAT HE WAS ASSAULTED ON FEBRUARY
13, 2008 AT APPROXIMATELY 7:40 P.M. ON THE SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF THE ATHLETIC
CENTER. THE SUSPECTS ARE 4 BLACK MALES. THE ONLY DESCRIPTION GIVEN IS THE
SUSPECT THAT ASSAULTED THE VICTIM: APPR. 5'10", WEARING BLACK PANTS,
OVERSIZED WHITE SHIRT, AND BLACK TENNIS SHOES. THE 4 SUSPECTS LEFT RUNNING IN
THE DIRECTION OF MCCARTY HALL. IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CALL UNIVERSITY
POLICE AT 601 266-4986.
So, they must have thought I was one of the four guys, they didn't stop me or anything, I just kind of looked back at them and kept walking when I felt they didn't exactly want me to stay. I was already looking suspicious with my over sized hoody .
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| Xanga, Xanga, Xanga. If I'm every famous some techno wizard will dig you up, and expose my neurosis and bad grammar to the world.
So, I'm crazy. Just crazy as... bananas: B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
Have you every been sitting around, letting your mind wonder-- various thoughts, pop-up memories? Do you ever evaluate some of those memories and realize how embarrassing or stupid a thing you did was? I do that, a lot. All the time, and it can make me feel sucky.
I should make a list of every damn, stupid, ass thing that I have ever done or side. That list would require the front and back side of 16 rolls of Scot's(sp?) brand 1000 sheet toilet paper. Maybe writing it down would actually help. I could keep a little notepad with me and write things down until I've thought of all the mistakes I've made and then burn the list-- start fresh. But then, while I'm living, adding things to the list, I'd do other stupid things and not realize until years later. And as I get older I would remember stupid things that I did that I didn't realize were stupid at the time-- then I would have to make another list. One list would the continuation of the first list, a second edition if you will, and the new list would be all the stupid shit I did when I was writing the first list and afterwards before I realized I needed to update the first list.
Really, it'd all be a waste of time and toilet paper... and a fire hazard.
I'd rather just forget the embarrassing memories, the sad realizations. And I have been-- suppressing them rather. But I think that may be mistake now. To suppress those memories is hubris, to deny that I made mistakes, is to deny I'm human. The next time one of those memories comes up, I'm going to embrace it, think about what it should teach me to never do again, and forgive myself (and hopefully forget). Maybe I'll not only be happier, but a wiser person.
P.S. We are getting the hell out of here for awhile.
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| So, I'm not nice anymore.
People don't do their damn job and it's my fault when things they want fall through. Sorry, I'm just the officiator-- at the very least one can complete the simplest tasks that I had to do.
If you don't do what people want, then they piss on you. It's understandable I guess-- yet still frustrating
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